He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Vodka?
Forever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
