do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
