Me. At least after what I've been through.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize