I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
