It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
