this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
