Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
