If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I enjoy the company of your penis
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
