I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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