What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
