He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Still dying that you shit outside
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
