you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
