there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
