I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
