An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
