whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
