It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
