A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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