her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
