i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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