Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
