I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
The air taste purple.
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