So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I could fuck to npr.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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