The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
