Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
