I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
