..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
