and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
