drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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