i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
