I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize