Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
