Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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