So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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