so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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