how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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