If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
