You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize