We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
