Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
