Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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