apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I cut my penus on the lid.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
