I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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