I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
