Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
