Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
