ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
