But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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