One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I will be naked everywhere
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
