Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize