So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
