ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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