is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
