I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
