People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize