So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize