I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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