In America we eat man semen.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize