I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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