so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
