They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
