I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
