He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I cut my penus on the lid.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
