I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
