i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
