Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
