You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
