omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
