I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
