The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
