# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
