Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think your dad took our porno
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize