i permit you to call me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
