Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize