Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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