Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
