she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
